Dear Turkey,

I know you must get this all the time, but I just gotta tell you: you're delicious. Tasty, even. Baby, I love you with some stuffing, a bit of cranberry sauce, and drowned in gravy. Maybe some heaps of mashed potatoes. I love you the day after, sandwiched between two pieces of rye bread, some mayo, and sprinkled with pepper. White meat, dark meat: it don't matter. I love it all.

Baby, I love you, and that's no lie.

Mmmmmmm,

Rob

PS: I'm talking about the animal, not the country. Sickos.