Dear Earth,

Surely you cannot be so cruel as to permit a monstrosity such as this to pass. It is trying enough to see a movie based on a book series bassed on a roleplaying game-ish-type-thingy, but starring Xena, Jack Bauer, Hermes Conrad, Lex Luthor, Worf's kid all grown up and Buffy's retconned-in little sister?

Please assure me you will unleash some disaster of biosphere destroying magnitude, or in the least case, a plague of brain-eating zombies (since my lacking such a vital organ would be only way I could withstand the release of this abomination) first.

Please?

Love,

Not a hater.