Dear guys who are always at starbucks,

Why are you at starbucks every time I walk by?

You sit there, in the corner, with your long greasy hair, or your short hair, with your laptops out and your tablets in hand for creating...what? Art or some shit? I'm getting tired of seeing the back of that naked woman (how risque) that you're always working on, always pointing at, and always making some presumably monumental commentary about. Why does it always look exactly the same every time I see it?

That's all fine. Stop staring down my girlfriend every time she walks by. It's creeping her out. I know this because I was with her once when you did it. Why the fuck are you always there? Is this your remote office or something? You creepy motherfuckers!!! Stay at home!

Regards,
El Knids