Dear neighbour lady,

I know the overlowing trash can that's right there is tempting. But could you exercise your most basic reading skills, and take your mail home with you like the sign everybody in the townhouse complex helped pay for says, and recycle the stuff you don't want? Or, like, use it for scrap paper and then recycle it?

And not idle your car, while you slowly sound out the words in the mail to prove to yourself that it is indeed completely composed of unsolicited advertisements? And not drive to the damn mailbox which is within walking distance of everybody anyways?

Yes, it would have helped if you didn't make me wait to get my mail. But you can take all your junk mail and jam it somewhere so that you clog certain reproductive organs and not litter the earth with more inconsiderate wastrels.

Love,

The redneck hippie.