Dear Democracy(John)
Hey Democracy. I didn't want to do this in a letter, but you're an abstract concept so I can't really do this face to face. Maybe that's part of the problem, you've always been an abstract concept and we just need more. You and I both know how awkward it's been between you and all of us for the last little while, so I don't think you're going to be surprised when I tell you that it's not going to work out.
Don't think that this is your fault, Democracy, you did your best and we really liked the time we spent together. Remember the French and American revolutions? Remember when women got the vote? Good times. We even helped to bring down the Soviet Union. Together. We did it together, Democracy, and we'll never forget that.
I know that it's cliche, but to be honest, democracy, it's not you, it's us. We just want different things now. We're going in different directions. We're growing appart and we don't even know why we're together anymore. I kept thinking that maybe things would somehow work themselves out, but after today I know it's over. If you haven't seen Andrew Wherry's House of Commons report, here it is. I think it says it all:
“Mr. Speaker, day after day, as industry after Canadian industry hit the wall and Canadian workers hit the streets, all we have seen from the Minister of Human Resources is standing regurgitating talking points,” sang Cuzner, the Liberal whip. “She is like the ShamWow salesman and Canadians are not buying it. Canadians are not buying it.”
“Why do you hate ShamWow?” a Conservative wondered aloud.
Reference, reference, motherfucking reference.
Sorry, Demorcacy, but clearly we've lost all appreciation for what it is that we used to have. Vince, the ShamWow guy, he knows what we want now, and he can give it to us. We're just growing in that direction. I'm sorry. Please don't hate us for this, we don't want it to be awkward when we see you in other countries. Just please try to understand that this is just what we need now.
Also, we're taking the cat.
Signed,
Canada
Don't think that this is your fault, Democracy, you did your best and we really liked the time we spent together. Remember the French and American revolutions? Remember when women got the vote? Good times. We even helped to bring down the Soviet Union. Together. We did it together, Democracy, and we'll never forget that.
I know that it's cliche, but to be honest, democracy, it's not you, it's us. We just want different things now. We're going in different directions. We're growing appart and we don't even know why we're together anymore. I kept thinking that maybe things would somehow work themselves out, but after today I know it's over. If you haven't seen Andrew Wherry's House of Commons report, here it is. I think it says it all:
“Mr. Speaker, day after day, as industry after Canadian industry hit the wall and Canadian workers hit the streets, all we have seen from the Minister of Human Resources is standing regurgitating talking points,” sang Cuzner, the Liberal whip. “She is like the ShamWow salesman and Canadians are not buying it. Canadians are not buying it.”
“Why do you hate ShamWow?” a Conservative wondered aloud.
Reference, reference, motherfucking reference.
Sorry, Demorcacy, but clearly we've lost all appreciation for what it is that we used to have. Vince, the ShamWow guy, he knows what we want now, and he can give it to us. We're just growing in that direction. I'm sorry. Please don't hate us for this, we don't want it to be awkward when we see you in other countries. Just please try to understand that this is just what we need now.
Also, we're taking the cat.
Signed,
Canada
posted by B-Boy Nothing | 9:18 PM
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