Dear Future Employer:

As I sit here and jump through your hoops on your friggin’ websites to apply to your friggin’ jobs, I wonder: don’t you need me more than I need you? I, now an official accounting dork, am in demand! Shouldn’t you be wooing me with all the things I can do and be because of the greatness of your company? As I become the consolidation queen and tax temptress to impress you, you make me fill out an f’ing CACEE form. That’s what a freakin’ resume is for! Gimme a job, pay for my CASB, and I want a corner office. That’s right. Oh and I need Friday off.

Warmest regards,

Bec