Dear girl on facebook,

You know who you are. You're the one who broadcasts every minutiae of your trivial little life for the world to hear. Got married? In a castle? In Denmark? Yeah, you. Your aunt and cat died in the same month? You, too. You hate your job? Hate your pager? You're bored? You're lousy at dating? You suck? I suck? And you're telling me six times an hour?

Sorry. We just gotta break up.

You see, I didn't care that much about your life back when we used to talk face to face. And really, twelve years later, I still don't care.

Don't let the door hit you on the way, ok, hon?

Love,

Leanne