Dear all of my housemates in the last two years,
Thank you so much for cleaning up so thoroughly before you moved out. You really have no idea how much I appreciate all the work you went through to make sure that you did your fair share of cleaning and ensuring that when the time came for me to move, I was able to move out with only half of the cleaning to do so my damage deposit comes back.
Also, thank you for not repeatedly burning things to the stove every time you cook, and making sure the dishes go in the right place without food still stuck to them. That really made my day go so much faster. And thanks for cleaning out your shelves in the fridge. I'd hate to imagine what it would be like to find 3 dozen expired eggs hidden way at the back.
Thank you for cleaning the outside window, where the guy threw more eggs at the house after your douchebag friends harassed him at 4am. It must have been tough to get at the outside pane, what with us being 3 floors up. You really showed dedication.
I can't tell you all how thankful I am for all of this wonderful work you did. It has really made my move-out cleaning fly by! I'll cherish this time as if we did it together.
Thank you for always leaving the bathroom door open and the fan on after taking a shower, so we don't get any of that pesky mold growing on the ceiling. I hate that stuff, and can only imagine how akward it must be to clean.
I hope you all die of a bacterial infection, you undomesticated assholes,
Sincerely,
Brice
P.S. I almost forgot. Thank you for not peeing on the floor of my room.
Also, thank you for not repeatedly burning things to the stove every time you cook, and making sure the dishes go in the right place without food still stuck to them. That really made my day go so much faster. And thanks for cleaning out your shelves in the fridge. I'd hate to imagine what it would be like to find 3 dozen expired eggs hidden way at the back.
Thank you for cleaning the outside window, where the guy threw more eggs at the house after your douchebag friends harassed him at 4am. It must have been tough to get at the outside pane, what with us being 3 floors up. You really showed dedication.
I can't tell you all how thankful I am for all of this wonderful work you did. It has really made my move-out cleaning fly by! I'll cherish this time as if we did it together.
Thank you for always leaving the bathroom door open and the fan on after taking a shower, so we don't get any of that pesky mold growing on the ceiling. I hate that stuff, and can only imagine how akward it must be to clean.
I hope you all die of a bacterial infection, you undomesticated assholes,
Sincerely,
Brice
P.S. I almost forgot. Thank you for not peeing on the floor of my room.
posted by DJ Bitterbarn | 10:18 PM
5 Comments:
Dear Hannim and Rob,
I love you guys.
Lovingly,
Ilia.
I just finger-pointed at your post.
Mostly 'cuz you said "Hannim."
Love,
Rob
In case Brice is now feeling the need to kick my ass, let me point out that Hannim is not meant as a time-saving measure but rather a reflection of their symbiosis in their role in my life.
Introspectively... and fearfully,
Ilia.
your ass is safe. venting on dear-blank is just as satisfying as flying halfway around the world to assault someone who had good roommates.
plus, that's a long trip and i think i have enough aeroplan miles this year anyway.
Party in NYC? You can be the Executive Director of Linguistics...
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