Dear Urban Planners of York Region,
Surely you realize that "traffic planning" does not constitute sticking another set of traffic lights anywhere where there happens to be a lot of cars lined up, particularly in a region of the Greater Toronto Area where drivers are unable to make quick decisions with regards to complex navigational problems such as whether to make a turn, and completely lack any knowledge with regards to how to accelerate their vehicles in an efficient manner.
(Here's a hint to any said drivers who might be reading this: You use your foot to apply pressure to the little pedal on the right side. And no, you do not earn bonus points for driving well below the speed limit in front of a speed trap. I will give you a slap across the back of your head though).
Put down your fucking crayons, stop sniffing your whiteboard markers, and get back to the drawing board.
Fuck.
L.
(Here's a hint to any said drivers who might be reading this: You use your foot to apply pressure to the little pedal on the right side. And no, you do not earn bonus points for driving well below the speed limit in front of a speed trap. I will give you a slap across the back of your head though).
Put down your fucking crayons, stop sniffing your whiteboard markers, and get back to the drawing board.
Fuck.
L.
posted by leanne | 12:21 AM
6 Comments:
...or...
Dear York Region,
Traffic concerns are the least of your problems. I'm giddy that I no longer have to exist in you, you soul-crushing barren hellhole. The next time I visit you will be moments after I die.
Hahaha!
Not Jeremy.
Fine, I guess I can leave you off my invite list if ever I throw another BBQ.
:p
If you are going to face soul-crushing suburbia and are looking for a delicious BBQ, Burlington houses Canada's largest ribfest! Finger-lickin' redemption!
Fine, Ilia, I won't invite you either.
..sorry what was that? i couldn't hear you over the latest fergie tune that was blaring from my new SUV, while i was unloading the 100s of litres of ketchup i just bought from costco.
but it's okay, i've just drive over to your house and you can tell me what you were saying. do you want me to pick up from drive-thru KFC while i'm on my way?
Er, if you want.
But you know the KFC next to my place doesn't have a drive-through, right?
If you want to pick up pre-processed food while idling your car on the fumes of baby dinosaurs, you'll have to hit up the Harvey's or the McDonalds, nevermind that it'd probably be faster for me to walk there...
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